rambling

peter has been out of town this week. normally this would mean a lack of sleep. i am usually jumpy. i am a typical girl when it comes to stuff like this. every noise would make me jump and wake upand fight to go back to sleep. fortunately, i slept quite well this week.

i stayed with my mom last night. we went to dinner,did a little shopping and hung out at her house. i have to admit, it was little strange. i've always heard people say, that once they left home, it didn't feel the same. i have never felt that way, until last night. I mean, I was comfortable, nothing really happened. I just felt more like a guest, it wasn't my house anymore. Part of that is because I have my own house. Maybe thats just part of growing up.

I am 24 years old. I should be grown up by now, but I haven't ever felt like I have changed that much since high school. I have always been my mom's baby. I have been treated like it too, but I think at some point we all realize that we can't be that baby anymore.

Maybe that has been my problem. I think I have always thought that things would just magically work out or that there would always be someone there to bail me out. I am more and more starting to realize that I am wrong. There will come a point in time where I will fall on my face and there won't be anyone there to pick me up. I am going to have to do things for myself and I think that time is now. I think financially, mentally, spiritually I have got to start doing things on my own. I need to remember that I am a grown up now and I need to start acting like it. There won't always be people there to help and I can't rely on them even if they can.