april showers

first of all, i haven't posted anything in a while. i know. i am terrible at keeping up with these kinds of things. i think i am going to set a reminder on my phone to remind me to do this at least once a week. blogging is good practice and is also a good outlet.

to summarize- we went to sxsw last month. it was a great amount of fun. i am glad we were able to go and have fun, especially considering the past few weeks.

first, my step-grandmother died April 1. she had been battling with cancer for quite sometime and thankfully, she went rather peacefully surrounded by her family. i know she is resting peacefully now. i know that she no longer feels any pain and she is in the arms of her Savior. i have people with this.

my husband and i were able to go see her about a week before she passed, this was when she was still somewhat alert and was able to communicate if even with just a smile or laugh.

about two weeks ago (the day of my step-grandmothers funeral), my told me he was traveling to Florida to be with his mom and siblings as his father, my grandfather who has been fighting guiallian barbet syndrome (probably caused by a flu shot) for a few months, was not doing well. my father told me on tuesday that my grandfather was taken off the ventilator and passed away peacefully surrounded by his family. this hit me hard. i am sure if i was hit hard because i haven't been able to see my grandfather in quite sometime or if i had convinced myself that he would be ok.

it has been a difficult month so far. i talked to my mom about these things as well as my dryer breaking, my toilet/bathtub being backed, and my car having problems; she reminded me that God never allows to take on more than we can handle. i have no doubt that this is true. i know that God knows me much better than i know myself and He knows my needs. i have been broken these past few weeks. my heart has been broken, my wallet has been broken and this morning my window has been broken (thanks to my dog, Cash). i know that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord.

sometimes i wonder if times like these teach us to love God more. i pray for strength and try fight off bitterness. i pray for love and ward off anger.

i pray for clear skies and a time of peace. i know that God is in control and that i need to let go of the reigns...